As a parent what do you do when you have reached your limit, when you have nothing left to give; where can you turn for strength?
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Did you ever have one of those days where you totally lost your patience, a day when your children turned your world upside down, a day where you questioned your sanity? If so, congratulations you are a parent. As much as we love our children there are moments when we become overwhelmed, drained, and exhausted by the sheer magnitude of the demands placed on us and by our children’s every changing emotions.
When you have reached your limit, when you feel you have nothing left to give there is an endless reserve of strength waiting for you in your heart. Our hearts are a powerful place of wisdom; it is the center of our being, a place of joy, love and all emotions. By connecting with your heart you can remember the deep connection you share with your children.
When you are at the end of your parenting rope place both of your hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands gently comforting and soothing your heart. As your hands sooth your heart, feel each beat and become more and more relaxed. As your body and mind become more peaceful begin to melt into the serenity. Now take a deep breath in through your nose and send the breathe down into your heart, filling your heart space. with peace. Do that one more time, another deep breathe filling your heart with love.
Now I want you to think back to the day you first held your children in your arms? That moment when the doctor or nurse handed you your child. Remember the miraculous feeling of connection. Remember how sweet and delicious they smelled, feel how they made your heart melt as their little head nuzzled into your neck. Remember how your breathing was completely synchronized with them. How did it feel to fall in love with your baby? Allow the well spring of love to reemerge as you remember your first encounter. Spend a moment savoring the memories of your child at birth.
Now think back to the day your baby first smiled at you. It was a smile of total recognition, extraordinary joy and pure bliss. Remember how their entire face would light up, their toothless grin radiated with such love. Their eyes would shimmer with a sparkle of delight. Remember how their little goos and giggles would make your heart dance. Remember how no matter what was going on in your life your babies smile would bring you such joy. Allow the joy and the love you had for your baby’s pure happiness to wash over you.
Now see your child growing up and becoming their own person. Remember the joy and the anxiety you first felt when you watched them take their first step, ride a bike, go off to school. They struggled, they fell down a lot, but what was most important was they got up each time and continued trying. Each mistake and each milestone gradually helping them grow in confidence, in strength, in independence. Remember how you felt when they began to solve their own problems and work through the challenges in their lives. They may not be perfect but they are developing skills that will last a lifetime? As you imagine their independence emerge allow a sense of trust to fill your heart, knowing that they will you continue to grow to their highest potential.
Now I want you to see your child growing into a teenager, a young adult. See the potential in your child. See their amazing and unique gifts being developed.
See them completely unique in talent, personality, life experience, temperament, and learning style…. Feel their deep need for connection, for love, for patience, for understanding and validation.
See each of their beautiful faces feel how much they love you, how glad they are that you are their parent and how they believe in you.
Hear them thanking you for the wisdom and the knowledge you passed on to them.
Think about how you have impacted their lives and feel how deeply you have affected their future.
Now thank each one of them for being a part of your life and your growth.
Finally, take a deep breath and a think about who you are. The beautiful spirit that resides within you.
See yourself as a parent who is positively impacting your children. Despite the challenges and difficulties of parenting know that you are valued and so important. Remember you and your children were brought together to help each other grow.
May you find comfort, strength, and joy in the deep connection you share with your children.
Debbie Milam is the co-creator of Empowering Our Children: Creating Connected Families, Classrooms, and Communities. She is an occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel. Visit www.bestyoucanbe.org website for more books and resources to help you be a highly effective parent. Visit her online at www.bestyoucanbe.org and sign up for her newsletter to receive your special report, "Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family." © Copyright 2008 Debbie Milam.
