Ready for a Great Life: Fill a Bucket
By: Debbie Milam
Spend some time watching the news or reading the newspaper and you will see that world is in desperate need of a shift in consciousness. As our country approaches the 2008 election each politician professes they have the key to turn our country around and make the world a better place. Their huge plans and complicated initiatives may be able to move our country in a more positive direction, but I have a simpler solution, intentional acts of kindness.
Imagine if every person on the planet did just one kinder thing each day. Imagine if every child chose to be kinder to one another at school and at home. Imagine if every parent and spouse choose to be kinder to the people in their lives. Would our world be any different? You bet it would.
Carol McCloud is known to thousands of fans as the "Bucket Lady." Carol has brought this philosophy to over 60,000 children and teachers through her website www.bucketfillers101.com and school assemblies, encouraging others to be daily bucketfillers. She has also inspired thousands of teachers to create bucketfilling classrooms and schools.
In her extraordinary award winning book “Have You Filled a Bucket Today”, illustrated by David Messing and published by Ferne Press, Carol shares a simple yet profound message of the how each one of us can make the world a better place. Children, teachers and parents alike will be inspired as they are reminded of the power of performing intentional acts of kindness. The words and the illustrations instantly bring a sense of joy and positive energy. These simple concepts provide a wonderful way to enhance self-worth, character, cooperation and global citizenship. This magical book shows us all that when we give we are the ones who actually receive so much.
Carol learned from an early age the power in giving and receiving. Her parents taught her that everyone deserves kindness and respect. They showed her that not everyone has the same opportunities in life and that’s why some things are harder for others. Her training in compassionate living continued with her Uncle Frank Walsh, Carol shared that, “He made it a point to make everyone he met feel special. He filled their buckets with kind words and happy thoughts. He never owned a house, never owned a vehicle, and never had children, yet he was the happiest person I have ever known. Frank would go out to breakfast nearly every morning after he retired. Nearly once a week, he would look around the coffee shop, for someone who looked a little lonely or a little discouraged. He would secretly tell the waiter or waitress that he wanted to pay for that person’s meal. When my sister and I would visit him in the summer, he would let us help pick out a person whose breakfast we would buy. He wanted us to be part of it so he made sure we contributed our one-third. It was so much fun and felt so good. We would hide and giggle. No one ever found out. I’m sure it filled our buckets more than it filled the bucket of the person whose breakfast we bought. Nearly fifty years later, I still regularly enjoy buying coffee or a meal anonymously. ”
Carol believes parents play an enormous role in helping children become more compassionate. She feels, “Children need to learn and experience love, both receiving and giving. They need to receive love unconditionally from their parents and they need to learn how to express it to others. Children have to know that nothing can separate them from their parent’s love. It’s not something you just say. It’s something you do. You spend time with them. You forgive them when they make mistakes. You believe in them. You encourage them. You also must teach them how to be kind and show love to others.”
She goes on the say, “Children need to learn that everything they say and do is their choice and every choice they make has consequences. You can have compassion and help children understand and deal with their consequences, but children do need to learn that they will reap what they sow We are not responsible for what other people say and do but we are responsible for what we say and do. 90% of our life is a result of the decisions we make. To make a friend, you have to be a friend. If you don’t go to work, you don’t get paid.
Carol has created an extremely fulfilling life for herself and her bucketfilling philosophy is the key to her happiness. She believes every person has the ability to be happy if they become a bucket filler. She encourages people to, “Say or do something kind every day. Look for opportunities to do things for others. That’s what really fills your bucket and makes you happy. Don’t dip. Don’t be negative, mean-spirited, envious, or greedy. Dipping in other people’s buckets dips in your own. Don’t let negative thoughts and emotions rule you. That only dips in your own bucket. We can control our thoughts and our words. Have a lid for your bucket. Don’t let other people dip into your bucket and take away your good feelings. Don’t take things so personally. People say and do mean things for many reasons. Most have nothing to do with you. Don’t let anger cause you to do something you will be sorry for. Have compassion for others. Forgive. When you feel hurt, take some time to reflect on or consider what has been said or done and work to get over it.”
All of the good she has put out into the world came back to her in one memorable moment. Carol shared, “My husband Mike became sick and died twelve weeks after my book, Have You Filled A Bucket Today? was published in 2006. After Mike died, I wrote about my experience during his illness and death. I mentioned the people who filled my bucket during this time. I explained that when someone close to you is sick and dies, it is like your bucket spills over. All your good thoughts and feelings wash away. But then, other people in your life, family, friends, and neighbors help fill your bucket again. “
Carol continued, “A fourth-grade teacher, Maureen Nichols, had purchased my book and was teaching her students to be bucket fillers and do something for someone every day. Mrs. Nichols received my newsletter and told her class that my husband had died. Shortly after that newsletter, I received a large envelope with 26 of the most heart-warming letters I have ever read from 4th grade children I had never met. My bucket was completely filled. Any time I’m having a hard day, I pull out those letters, read them and again they fill my bucket.”
Carol is a beacon of goodness and her work could change the world. Just imagine if every person on the planet simply performed one intentional act of kindness every day, how full would our buckets be and how sweet our lives could be? May each you and your children know the joy in uplifting another.
For more information on Carol’s life changing work please visit her online at www.bucketfillers101.com.
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Debbie Milam is the author of Stop Fighting and Start Connecting. An occupational therapist and life coach whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The
